Unlearning Myself

"To learn (v): gain or acquire knowledge of or skill in (something) by study, experience, or being taught"

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I find learning to be simultaneously the actions of craving and challenging acceptance. Although I hunger for understanding, for the Eureka, I find myself constantly questioning and doubting the authenticity of the gift I'm being granted.

When you learn something, whether it be a skill, language, concept, etc., you allow yourself the liberty to be malleable to change. It is (for the most part), a choice that comes with sacrifices (time, energy, prior convictions, etc.) and experiences that accumulates into what we consider to be knowledge. 

I've recently been introduced to the foreign, yet adoptable concept of "unlearning" oneself. 

To unlearn something, means to abandon all preconceived notions, and begin anew. It is a tedious, prolonged process where the healing continues to be uncoordinated, and the first steps are precarious. 

I've made the choice to challenge the acceptance of myself as an individual. Said simpler, I've made the decision to learn to "unlearn" myself. Typically these thoughts precede with a self-induced over-reflection --the insatiable urge to change myself, clawing against my soul from within. This isn't necessarily an act of my dissatisfaction with myself, but quite the contrary: an act of adoration. I love myself enough to allow myself to learn to become all the versions of myself I wish to be. 

But to learn, I must first, unlearn. 

I won't disclose the exact plan I intend to follow, however, this process will most likely begin with granting myself the grace and patience to disassemble the roots binding my thoughts, and subtle reconstructions in my intentions (rather than actions). Only then can I begin learning a new version of me. 

I must not forget: change is not an algorithm.